Saturday, 5 November 2011

Otter Upon A Time

My friends and I were watching a new TV show last night, called Once Upon A Time. The gist of the plot is that fairytale characters were once real, and people in the modern day world don't remember being in their respective roles (the teacher was actually Snow White, the little boy was Pinocchio, the therapist was, slightly oddly, Jiminy Cricket). As we watched, mostly yelling criticisms of different things at the screen (the plot, the fashion, the abominable haircuts) something occurred to me.

Me: (slowly, thinking it over) Has anyone ever realised how odd it was that Gippetto was so excited about Pinocchio becoming a real boy?

Fleetch: (considering) Huh. Actually, you may have a point there.

Me: I mean, it's kind know. Dodgy.

Wetsoks: Dude! He made a son. He wanted a SON.

Me: Well, sure, that's what he told people. I'm just saying, if he wanted company he could have built a wooden lady puppet. Something about the whole thing just seems off.

Wetsoks: You wouldn't be saying that it if Gippetto had been a woman who wanted a child.

Fleetch: We can discuss the double standard of child rearing biological impulses in our society later. Stay on topic, bro.

Me: (narrowing my eyes) I don't trust puppet-makers or puppets. It's unnatural.

Tanyakit: So, what's happening now?

We all looked at the screen, aware that every time we had one of these conversations we missed massive chunks of dialogue and middling acting.

Sarahnator: How ironic - in the modern world, Prince Charming is the one in a coma.

Tanyakit: He's not that charming. He threw a sword at a woman.

Fleeetch: To be fair, she was the Wicked Queen who had just threatened to curse them and ruin the happiness of everyone in the land. I'd probably throw a sword at her.

There was a brief silence.

Tanyakit: (thoughtfully) What was their last name?

Sarahnator: Whose?

Tanyakit: Snow White and Prince Charming. Their kid is called Emma Swan. So their last name was Swan? How did that happen?

Wetsoks: She grew up in foster care.

Me: (not listening) Does that mean Snow White was Snow Swan after they got married? Or Snow White Swan?

Tanyakit: Prince Swan sounds odd.

Me: Presumably he has a first name. Like, 'Jeremy' or something.

Tanyakit: (cracking up) Jeremy Swan!

Fleetch: This show is confusing. Wait, what's happening now?

Wetsoks: (sighing) You know, if you paid attention you'd know what was happening.

Me: Where's the fun in that? Ooh, who's he?

In summary, I still don't have much idea what happened during the two episodes we watched, but I do know that I had a great time. And really, that's all the fairytale ending I need.


  1. pinochios nose "grows longer" whenever he is "naughty"!!

    I am actually emotionally scarred that you pointed this out to me!!

  2. I hate to be the one who emotionally scars my friends... oh, wait, no I don't. Mwahaha! The Disney film will never be the same again, will it?

  3. For a non-terrible take on fairytales-in-modern-setting, I heartily recommend Bill Willingham's Fables comics / graphic novels; thy're pretty damn awesome.

  4. Thanks Oddtwang :) Someone previously recommended those to me but I never got around to reading them. Of course, now you have ventured your excellent opinion I'll have to put in the effort. Maybe it'll be a future blog post!