Sunday, 27 October 2013
Two Slotters Are Better Than One
On the recently published list of "8 animal hybrids that could break the internet", the top picture featured was a Sloth + Otter combination aptly, if somewhat worryingly, called a Slotter, and would look like this:
This led to a rather disturbing conversation between myself and my vegetarian girlfriend.
Me: Slotters! Our babies will be so cute and perfect and will apparently break the internet!
Sloth: That IS adorable.
Me: But what would they eat?
Me: (glazing over) I imagine that the Slotters would hunt in large packs. Hundreds of them hunting a single whale, hugging it to death while it sinks into the abyss because of the extra weight, and then they'd nibble on its delicious blubbery carcass, feasting for days and singing of their triumphs.
Sloth: Eww, no. They'll eat seaweed.
Sloth. (sternly) Seaweed!
Me: (whining) But honey, they want to drown whales!
Sloth: (stern look)
Me: Fine, fine. Seaweed. What about a nice diet of seaweeds and crabs?
Sloth: No crabs.
Me: Why the hell not? Crabs are tasty.
Sloth: Because they have eyes... and plans for the future.
Me: (gaping in horror) Oh. Oh god. I never thought of it like that. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck....why would you phrase it like that?
There was a brief pause.
Sloth: (innocently) So, seaweed?
Me: (broken) Seaweed. *sniff*