The Meat And Greet

Since I've actually been to quite a lot of things at this year's Edinburgh Festival, I'm planning to write more about it later. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the below interim post.

A month or so ago, I held an Exotic Meat Birthday Barbeque for my friends, in honour of turning - get all the you-look-like-a-child jokes in here now, because sooner or later they're not going to apply any more - the grand old age of 27. We had many different meats, including the following:

Wildebeest
Wild Boar
Crocodile
Zebra
Camel
Springbok

For those of you wondering, the crocodile tasted like fishy pork. I know that sounds awful, but it was actually pretty nice. The only thing I was missing was kangaroo, as the particular butchers we ordered from were out of stock on the day. Now, you guys know I love meat. I also love new experiences, and I'm especially not afraid to try something most people would deem weird, so this was a perfect blend of the two things. However it seems to have sparked an unusual drive in me - an ambition to eat ALL THE THINGS.

Well, most of the things anyway - I draw the line at 'kittens' (that's spiders, to the uninitiated), actual kittens, and otters. Everything else, as far as I am concerned, is fair game. So when I found a meat catalogue at the Foodie Festival last weekend, and opened it to find an even wider range of exotic meats, I got understandably overexcited and started yelling about how they had reindeer and oven-baked squirrel and how I was going to put all the meats in my face, much to the confusion and terror of nearby people.

My friends exchanged glances during this tirade, and then subtly chose to ignore me (they really should have known better, because once a crazy idea worms its way into my little brain, it tends to stick) However, I plan to remain focused, like some sort of meat athlete. I'm going to get one of those posters for children, the ones with the alphabet and pictures of animals on it, and I'm going to eat my way through as many as I can. Do you even know how many species of antelope I haven't eaten yet? Tens, hundreds, possibly thousands. It's mindboggling.

Life is so short, and I intend to enjoy it as much as possible.

Preferably while holding a roast haunch of something in one hand.