Friday, 1 March 2013

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel (I've Seen Wanted Posters Everywhere)

Sarahnator: Guys - how about Hansel and Gretel on Saturday? Famke Janssen!

Wetsoks: I'm good for that.

Me: Um, I may have to decline such a tempting offer. However, what about Cloud Atlas? Do we have any idea when we are all free to go see that?

Sarahnator: I can honestly say I have no idea when you are free to go see Cloud Atlas.

Me: God. What don't I pay you for? Seriously.

Sarahnator: If Wetsoks is okay with going out on both weekend days, then I would propose we see it Sunday afternoon.

Me: I may be (read: will be) hungover, but I can probably make that.

Sarahnator: Let's wait to see if Wetsoks confirms. I heard her and Liara might be breaking up so she might not want to go out much this weekend.

Me: BUT THEY WERE SO GOOD TOGETHER. Also, you know, she's a fictional character from Mass Effect, but whatever. Small details.

Wetsoks: Just because we have an argument doesn't mean we're breaking up. God. Stop being so dramatic!

Sarahnator: I like how you have both referrred to me as God today. From now on I demand to be worshipped! I will reward you in the next life. Maybe. Oh and come on - she is cheating on you. With me.

Me: *gets the popcorn* This is better than the telly I don't have. Anyway, you can be the God of Crocs. And I shall serve your nemesis, the Devil of Fashion. I SHALL NOT REPENT.

Sarahnator: I've never worn crocs in my life! I declare myself the God of Sweat Pants and Trainers. All who worship me and obey my rules shall be comfortable in this life and the next.

Wetsoks: I am the God of Busywork... which I am preoccupied with right now.

Sarahnator: Party pooper! The God of Sweat Pants and Trainers has spoken! There shall be no more hard work!

Me: From this point on, I may refer to changing when I get home as "putting on my church clothes".

Sarahnator: You need to get permission from the God of Sweat Pants and Trainers for that.

There was a brief pause.

Sarahnator: Permission granted. No one can say I am not a kind and generous god.

Me: Allow me to praise thee by doing as little as possible while remaining as comfortable as possible. If that's not devotion, I don't know what is.

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