A Birds Eye View

Good afternoon, otter minions!

I should possibly begin with an apology for this post, given the subject matter, however by that logic I should have probably have begun most of my inappropriate posts with apologies and clearly did not do so. In this case, I not only refuse to give an apology but retract all previous apologies (even the ones which were not given). Lawyered. And now, onto the point.

I found the perfect photo the other day, and proceeded to gleefully post it on the Fleetch's wall. The Fleetch, avid readers may recall, was my former flatmate who is now living back in Americaland. The time difference combined with our busy lives means we rarely get a chance to speak properly, but when we do, it really does feel like she never left.

"Uh. It's not what it looks like. They were like that when I got here. I swear. I wasn't even hungry. Uh. Yeah." 

(As an FYI - this picture is from Reddit, I have no clue where it came from originally and I'm not about to google "raccoon eating dead bird" since I just ate lunch)

Fleetch: This is the perfect raccoon-sphere. I knew it could be done. I KNEW IT!

Me: And this is why CERN built the Large Hardon Collider. Yes, I said Hardon.

Cublet: I told you not to get my fat side!

Me: I wanted to tag myself as the raccoon and the Fleetch as the dead bird, but Wetsoks said that was "too far". No idea what she meant by that.

Fleetch: Ah yes, Too Farville. It's right past the Line Bridge in Don't Go There County.

Me: I regrettably do not know this place. I've heard of it, but I've never been. Frankly I'm not convinced it exists.

Fleetch: Take the train and get off at I Can't Believe You Said That station.

Me: (recognition dawning) Ahh. I definitely passed through there. Recently.

Wetsoks: If you get to Fuck This Shit then you've probably gone too far.

Me: I think that was where I spent 20 minutes going round the Bitches Be Cray Cray roundabout, trying to figure out where the exit was. Hint: there isn't one, unless you throw yourself off the bypass. That's bad planning.

Fleetch: I miss you guys.

Shortly after, the Fleetch tagged herself as the raccoon and me as the dead bird, restoring the natural balance of things (just not, unfortunately, for the birds in the photo).