Tuesday, 15 May 2012

An Otter Abroad

I had a lovely time in Portugal last week (so much so that I genuinely considered not returning home, before realising that much to my annoyance, I have various things that I can't just pick up and leave, including two rather heavy cats who possibly would not appreciate being forced into quarantine without an explanation). Many amusing situations occurred as I'm sure you can imagine, because normally I am a walking basket of disasters even in a country with a language I can speak fluently, but the below was one of my favourite exchanges to date. My Portuguese and I were out in an area called Bairro Alto, which is an awesome night spot in Lisbon.

Me: So, what do you recommend I drink?

Portugal: Caipirinha!

Portugal's Sister: No, you should have a shot.

Me: I like the sound of that. Look at all these drunk people! It feels like home.

Portugal's Sister: So, there is a shot called... I don't know how you translate this. Um. A kick in... the...  (she gestures at her crotch)

Me: Vagina?

Portugal: Yes, that! Except, it's worse than vagina. Is there a worse English word?

Me: (suppressing hysterical giggles) I can't think of one right now.

Portugal's Sister: (seriously) Are you sure?

Me: (straining my jaws to keep the laughter in) I ... simply can't imagine what that could be. I'll let you know if I find out. English is such a limited language. Ahem.

It was a great few days and I visited many interesting locations in Lisbon, got seriously hooked on the tiny coffees and pastel de nata (best cakes in the world, I promise you) and generally had an awesome time. Upon my return, I discovered that I'd been made Runner Up in the Flashbang fiction competition (which you may remember I mentioned in a previous post). Please find my story linked here and do comment if you feel that it deserves any praise or whatnot - http://flashbangcontest.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/runner-up-4/

In addition, one of my stories has been accepted into the Raging Aardvark's Twisted Tales ebook for National Flash Fiction Day on Wednesday 16th May! This is amazing in itself, but I also discovered that the lovely people over at Ether Books are going to publicise my story as a free download on both 16th and 17th May. When I know more I'll update with a link. It's been very busy over here in Otterland, but I'm enjoying every moment of it.


  1. Ha, I really love your short story!

    Do you have any more stuff up and about places?

  2. Thanks! I do, actually (link below) but this one is only up for the next two days, and then it will be put into an ebook which I will pimp like... um, something that gets pimped a lot. One of the Kardashians?


  3. A Dutch pimp's pump?

    That works because:

    - they all have bikes in Holland, so need a pump
    - pimp's pump sounds great

    That link just said confusing words at me sorry :-s

  4. Oh that's because it was only up for two days, apologies!

    They have now taken it off the site to do strange pdf things to it in preparation for the book on smashwords, which I believe involves many things but also killing a chicken at midnight. At a crossroads. Much like the Portuguese do.

    Ahem. If you have an iphone you can still find it on Ether Books, failing that DM me your email address on twitter and I'll send you the actual copy, complete with sweaty little otter pawprints!

  5. Oh, thanks! Are we friends on twitter? I can't find you! I am