Saturday, 17 December 2011

A True Wizard On The Inside

Since the Fleetch's departure is drawing near, I found myself reminiscing about all the good times we have shared together. I wanted to compile a post which summarised all the strange things we yell at each other on a daily basis (and things that have happened but aren't enough to make an entire blog post themselves, and things that are just so damn weird I almost worry about writing them down in case they develop legs and crawl back into Reality as fully-fledged creatures) so here they are:

- "Heads up!" (as I threw half a loaf at the back of the Fleetch's head)

- If we are online talking over MSN, we say "On-Lion! We are On-Lions!" as a reference to the Thundercats fan video (mentioned a few posts ago)

- our running joke about putting a sock on the door handle if one of us is ever entertaining a lady in our bedroom ("Hey Fleetch, you left your sock on the door handle! Fleetch! Did you know? FLEETCH! I'll bring it in. Let me just switch on the light and loudly crash in, yelling your name. Oh, you're in here with someone? Sorry. Let me just put this sock on my own foot, slowly, and I'll leave.")

- Because we spend so long yelling 'fleetch' at each other, it developed into a game of words that sounds like 'fleetch', such as 'steve', 'peach', 'cheese' and so forth. We assume the neighbours hate us and our games. ("They're doing it again!"  "Carol, really, you have to let this go."  "No! It's 8 in the morning and they are yelling one syllable words at each other. WHY?"  "...I'm beginning to wonder if we got married too fast.")

Although these are all completely genius, I think the best example that sums up our time together happened last week. I went to the bathroom, not expecting anything out of the ordinary. As I walked in, I caught sight of my facewash, and then I began to laugh hysterically, because this is what I saw.

Me: Fleetch?

Fleetch: FLEETCH!

Me: I... love what you've done with my products.

Fleetch: I'm expressing my artistic side.

Me: Uh huh.

Fleetch: And spreading the message of Yo Momma. And by message, I mean her legs.

Me: Dude. You're the best. Around. Nothing's gonna ever keep you down.

Fleetch: I know.

Me: If I'd been asked, I would have assumed you'd have gone for the 'Blueberry Cream Pie' first. It's the most obvious joke.

Fleetch: I'll get to that in time. This is just the beginning. Say, you haven't been in your sock drawer yet, have you?

Me: ....No?

Fleetch: Oh, good.

To cap this off, I want to show you an amazing video which one of my Twitter friends recommended earlier this week. Since the Fleetch's favourite Harry Potter character is Snape, I feel it is an apt way to end this post.

So, otterminions, please raise your glasses to my Fleetch, who is indeed a true wizard on the inside (even if she is a Slytherin), and the best friend a girl could ever have.
I'll miss you so much, dude.


  1. Also:
    I'm a bear....
    Oh?....(arms wrap protectively around your chest)
    I'm a bacon making bear!
    (I miss you already fleetch of my fleetch)

  2. It is a sad day indeed when we say goodbye to a true wizard on the inside. D$ha Scotland will not be the same without you!

  3. You're a bacon-making bear and I'm a bacon-eating otter. Together we can fight crime! Poorly! With bacon!
    It's a graphic novel waiting to happen.