Tuesday, 14 January 2014
The Angle Of The Hippotamuse
Me: Okay, so the cat threw up a horrible hairball but at least he managed to get to this towel and mostly do it on that. Which I think shows an intelligence and a sense of urgency, as well as a respect for surfaces, that this particular cat does not usually express.
Sloth: (looking at the towel with gagging distate) Why don't we just throw that one out? We have plenty of towels.
I could not fault this argument, since by moving in together the accumulation of two flats worth of towels was quite frankly the least of our storage concerns.
Sloth: So how was work today?
Me: Fine, yeah. I processed stuff. I sent emails. And I saw a shaved guinea pig.
The Sloth looked slightly thrown by this change in topic but is used to this by now, and to her credit tried gamely to go along with it as if it was perfectly normal (which to me, it is).
Sloth: A shaved guinea pig.
Sloth: A shaved... And where did you... you know what, I don't want to know what you were actually looking for when you found that.
Me: It was just... around.
There was a brief pause.
Me: Did you know shaved guinea pigs look just like baby hippos?
Sloth: (giving me a I-can't-believe-that-we're-really-having-this-conversation look) ....
Me: No, really. They totally do. But more wrinkly.
Sloth: (frowning) Hippos have fur, don't they?
Me: (thoughtfully) Do they? I suppose since I've always seen them wet, I've never really thought about their hair.
Sloth: (giving me an I-can't-believe-that-I-allowed-you-to-suck-me-into-this-conversation look, which is something I see quite regularly) .... darling...
Me: (innocently) What?
Sloth: (sighing) Nothing. You're adorable.
I'm taking this as confirmation that I may purchase either a wet or dry guinea pig/baby hippo if I should desire to do so, with or without hair.