Friday, 15 June 2012

Get Dry With A Little Help From Your Friends

Earlier this week, my friend Wetsoks approached me, looking oddly sheepish. This, I knew from previous experience, was a sign that something vastly entertaining was about to happen. As it turns out, I was correct.

Wetsoks: Hey, buddy.

Me: Dude. What's up?

Wetsoks: Um. Look.

Me: (immediately panicking) Oh god, no one ever starts a good sentence with "um, look"!

Wetsoks: No! Everything is fine! It's just... well...

Me: Seriously, what?

Wetsoks: (uncomfortably) We had some free products at work. Um. Like, samples, and stuff. You know?

Me: (slowly) Yes?

Wetsoks: So I got you some.

Me: Thanks - wait, samples of what?

Wetsoks produced her hands from behind her back with some embarrassment, and thrust a small brightly coloured box at me.

Wetsoks: They're tampons.

Me: Yes, they are.

Wetsoks: Um. Is it weird for me to give you tampons as a gift?

Me: Well... no one has actually presented me with tampons for years, so I suppose it's quite nice?

We stared at each other in mounting puzzlement.

Wetsoks: Um. They're scented.

Me: I see that.

Wetsoks: Camomile.

Me: Indeed.

Wetsoks: (beginning to sweat) I mean, I'm not saying anything!

Me: Right.

Wetsoks: They were free!

Me: Uh huh.

There was a brief silence.

Wetsoks: You should totally blog about this.

Me: No, it's much too embarrassing.

Wetsoks: More embarrassing than... (and here she listed off a number of things which correctly, were much more embarrassing than this post and the least of which involved the fact that earlier this week, I asked for a cup of tea while in a pub, and was ID'd. This isn't so bad until you consider that I am going to be 27 in less than a month and have been attempting to carefully cultivate wrinkles for some years now with only the scantest success) ...with the Lithuanians?

Me: (irritably) Yes, yes, fine, point made.

And so it was.

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