Saturday, 11 June 2011

The Wheels On The Bus Turn In A Circular Fashion

I haven''t written an internet junk post for a while, and I'm sure you're all desperate to see what I've been watching/reading/generally chuckling at recently, so I'll get to that right after I talk about something rather close to my heart. That's right - games. Specifically, in this case, bus games (small diversions that I have developed specifically for the bus or that I have adapted to be bus-friendly, because sometimes public transport can be a trying experience). obviously, there are the classics - Who Is That Smell Coming From, Spot The Arch-Nemesis, etc, but my current favourite game to play with strange women is Gay Or Just Chavvy, which should only ever be played mentally and the results should never be verified with the target of the game, in case of disastrous and violent consequences. I mean, you could approach the lady and try to determine whether you were correct or not, but I cannot be held responsible for the consequences. It's all in the handbook (section 4. Liability - Otternator cannot be sued for any action taken by a reader, regardless of whether or not she asked, suggested, dared, served so that it was On and street cred was at stake or otherwise incited the reader to perform said action. Otternator performs all of her own stunts. Do not try these at home).

There is also Ned Or Dead, which my friend came up with, which involves deciding whether a person on the bus is practising the art of chavvy heroin-chic or is in actual fact a zombie. She informed me that playing this game can lead to serious paranoia and fear as, depending on the bus and location, you can quite easily convince yourself that everyone on board is about to turn around slowly en masse and tear you limb from limb.

Now to the good stuff. Good people, feast your eyes upon these beauties. First, we've got a link to Christine O'Donnell video, which is basically Christine's public announcement (that she was in fact not a witch, and the astounding theory that none of us are perfect - has she never seen a Laura Dern film? Good lord) which has been autotuned and made into a song. It is really quite catchy.

If you have cats, you'll understand this perfectly. For everyone else, just enjoy the pictures and pray that one day you too shall know the fear and ultimate longing that can only come from petting your kitty on the tummy and being aware that any second they could try to sever your hand from your arm by means of a thousand scratches delivered in the space of a second but OH SO SOFT AND GLORIOUS WHILE IT LASTS.

This next one amused me greatly the first time I saw it, and everyone I've shown it to since then has turned to me afterwards, eyes wide with joy and said "that was awesome!" It's a fan-made trailer for what could actually be a proper Thundercats film, if any Hollywood studio picked it up. They have spliced scenes together from different films and cast the parts excellently (Brad Pitt as Lion-O is my favourite - watch out for his Troy scene making an appearance with the line "We are LIONS!")

Okay, the final one. I've saved the best for last. Here is Stephen Lynch singing his comedy standup song "Craig". This guy is a genius. Trust me. You'll be singing it to your friends and guffawing, possibly forever.



  1. Thank you for the CatversusHuman one in particular! :D The bath-time one SOOO rings true lol... cept for the time our young Onion wandered in, trotted along the edge of the bath.. and fell in. Our other cat Tato has post-traumatic stress disorder/Stockholm syndrome and is obsessed with water, the sink, and the bath and watches in frightening intensity as the water drains away. This is due to an early experience of being "washed" by our then 2 year old niece! 0.o

    *no really, our cats are Onion and Tato. We dont carry vegetables around with us anthropomorphizing them!

  2. I love your cats names! I've decided once Giles dies I'll replace him with another identical black cat, but I'll call him Randall Flagg so he can fight Roland (lame Dark Tower joke that only nerds would get).
    Ooh, washing your cat - something best done whilst wearing a protective suit, possibly like a beekeeper. We have kitty shampoo but they smell so good afterwards I keep picking them up and carrying them about for no reason. Be warned! It's addictive :)