Sunday, 24 April 2011

With A Baby Louis Vuitton Under Her Underarm

If you read this blog, or if you follow me on Twitter, it won't be long until you notice that I really enjoy bantering with people. It's one of my absolute favourite pastimes. I also really enjoy in-jokes and will go to great lengths to preserve such things by slipping them into conversation even if the conversation does not require it, and generally spreading them around like jam.

Other Half and I have a couple of great in-jokes that we use every now and again, which inevitably ends in both of us giggling like lunatics on a bus or similar. The following link is an advert for Chanel no. 5, which features Nicole Kidman squinting worriedly at the camera a lot and some truly pretentious dialogue, the best line of which is "I'm a dancer! I LOVE to dance!" Every now and again, I will burst into a room that Other Half is occupying, delivering this line in the same kind of breathy, overacted way that Nicole Kidman specialises in, and then flail about dramatically for a few seconds like Kate Bush on speed attempting to reenact The Nutcracker. (link This never fails to crack both of us up.

In addition, there are many video game jokes to be exchanged on Twitter. You've probably heard of, if not played, the game series Final Fantasy. It is a longstanding and brilliant turn-based RPG, which involves a lot of cool magic casting and summoning of mythical creatures to do your bidding. Trust me when I say there is nothing so satisfying as finally bringing down a boss by means of clever strategy (unless it's dominating the world in Risk - a skill which I am convinced is transferable to real world domination, if only I could get a small army of otters together). However, the Final Fantasy games do have a few problems, not least with their plotlines. Each game has different characters and a different premise, but the unifying factor is that it is usually surreal, particularly in the later games. My favourite of all time, Final Fantasy 8, is on the surface a romance set against the backdrop of a political uprising of a sorceress (to simplify it greatly) but in actual fact pulls the story threads together about halfway through by explaining that seven or so of the main characters all grew up in an orphanage together, and then somehow all conveniently forgot this fact due to all the monster summoning they'd been up to.
In addition, Final Fantasy 10's main character Tidus discovers that his long lost father is now what could best be described as a magical whale from the future. Final Fantasy is clearly a folding table and several colonies of ants short of a picnic, but nevertheless the games are highly enjoyable, and I do recommend them.

Back to in-jokes. One of my very excellent and funny friends (Jen of the 'Cheese and Crayons' blog, which can be found on the right of this site) enjoys exchanging song lyrics with me, in the most pedantic and British way possible. I'll highlight one of my favourite examples here. To give a little context, I'd just been paid a bonus at work after slaving on a project for about three months, so I was extremely happy about actually having some money.

Me: I feel so rich right now. It's bloody great.

Jen: If you earned that much every month, I'd marry you. And I'm straight.

Me: Bitch, please. I ain't messing with no golddigga.

Jen: I'm not saying I need someone rich, necessarily. I earn enough on my own. I do date a lot of broke bro's.

Me: The shoes on your feet?

Jen: I bought them.

Me: The car you're driving?

Jen: I bought it.

Me: The house you live in?

Jen: For a very reasonable price, I rent it.

Me: I believe that qualifies you as an Independent Woman.

Jen: Indeed, yah. I do depend on me, if I want it.

Me: Amazing.

And so it was.


  1. My favourite uses of the Destiny's Child & Kanye tracks:


  2. Those are awesome! I particularly liked the Golddigger mashup, that was genius. Have you heard this?

  3. Awesome! This is also a good use of Destiny's Child lyrics.